And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
