Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
