I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
