She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
