no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize