Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Mom said you looked used
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
