The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
