Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
