Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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