This girl is more easily done than said...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
