Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
