I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
