it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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