Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
