why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
