Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
