just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
