Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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