Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize