So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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