did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
birth control should be required to get into college
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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