i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
