I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
