I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
COCAINE IS GR8
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