Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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