There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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