herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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