I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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