Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
