Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
