Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
