margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
