Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
