is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
