Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
