Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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