It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
