READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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