you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
