i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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