I didn't shave. On purpose
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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