Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
