apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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