So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
