I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
