new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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