YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
