I cannot find my penis.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
