If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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