Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
