Don't make out with my wife yet
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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