Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
