True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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