i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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