I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
