why didn't you poke me back
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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