Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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