let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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