My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
