oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
