My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
