the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Houston, we have a squirter
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
