So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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